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Jared Genesis Wiki
'Welcome to the Jared Genesis Wiki' The Official Jared Genesis wiki documenting the life of everyone's favourite Alpha Male, from a Lab-Rat to an internet sensation. He's since disappeared after a fight with his father, who threatened to take his computer away. (Editor's note: Say what you will about Papa J, he has some nice pearly white teeth) 'Origin' Only a limited amount of information is known of Jared's exact origin, leaving us to speculate with what little we can gather from his Youtube videos and leaked government documents. *The most popular theory suggests he was created artificially in a secret government facility, located somewhere in Texas or Louisiana. Scientists were trying to engineer the perfect Alpha Male, possibly to be used as super soldiers in the U.S military. Jared was known then as subject C-420-69. Jared showed exceptionally higher cognitive ability than the rest of his batch, becoming the first to learn English and managing to solve extremely complex puzzles given by researchers observing his development. At age twelve, Jared created his own style of martial arts, which was later employed by the U.S military and used in training special ops units. The scientists began to fear they couldn't contain him, he was beginning to realize they were inferior Beta Males. According to an alleged leaked document of The United States Department of Defense, on Jared's 18th birthday, he lead a group of his brothers in an uprising and was one of the only three subjects to escape. *Rian Johnson was confirmed to be one the escaped three, although he was largely considered to be a failure on all fronts and his creators regretted allowing him the gift of life. The identity of the third is unknown. 'Influences' *By examining his room, the setting for his Youtube Videos, it becomes obvious that Jared is inspired or influenced by the fictional crime-fighters 'The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'. It is obvious that Jared relates to the Turtles as they are outcasts created by science who love pizza and martial arts, just like him. *You may also notice that he bases his hairstyle on that of the popular comic book character 'The Wolverine'. This, again is because of how much he has in common with wolverine, an alpha-male mutant with a tormented mind whom the U.S military tried to use as a weapon. *Jared seems to have a keen interest in music, as shown by the guitar and set of drums littering his background, he is likely a musical genius considering his cognitive ability. *Jared is an avid consumer of the works of the historian James Ralph, going as far as naming his pet yo-yo after the American-Born English political writer. *Jared is known to watch Cinemassacre's Movie reviews from time to time. *Jared suffers PTSD from his time as a soldier, causing sudden outbursts of violent threats on the internet. 'Lifestyle' Jared was intended to be used in special ops missions on foreign soil, this is why he was brought up to sleep in a sleeping bag on rough terrain, as him and his squad would be moving around so much. As a result of this, Jared can't get to sleep in an ordinary bed and instead sleeps in different locations in his home, throwing a blanket and pillow over random furniture when he gets tired. As Jared is rarely seen eating in his videos, we know next to nothing about his diet. The only confirmed foods his diet consists of are: *Pizza (Specifically from Pizza Hut) *Monster Energy *Yo-Yos (Never shown on camera but heavily implied) After defeating Alduin in the final act of Return of The King, Jared acquired the Dragon Sight power, allowing him to see what would otherwise be invisible to others, including alternate scenes in movies and TV shows. Jared does watch anime from time to time, favoring classics over newer entries, but hates most other media from the late 80s to early 90s as they remind him of his traumatic past. ...People praise the 80s and 90s like they were some wondrous decades, it wasn't dude. Like, I grew up in the late 80s early 90s and I can tell you... there was just a bunch of shit, it fucking sucked bro -Jared's Jurassic Park review Jared's lack of personal hygiene is evident from dark, black stains extending from his doorframe to the lightswitch, and from the estimated 37 used Q-tips alarmingly close to his keyboard. He is now currently working on as yet unnamed ' Pop Punk ' Trio Project consisting of Himself, The fictional Character Leatherface and is now searching for the Third Member of the Supergroup. ( Beta males need not apply ) A professional Cowbell player. But Wood Block players are also considered for this once in a lifetime opportunity. Controversies/Pedophilia During a stream around August 2019, Jared explained live on his YouTube Channel that he doesn't "... care about age, he'll date anybody..." He continued by saying "If you feel you have chemistry toward someone... whether they're, ya know, 14, 48 or 99.... Sure 12 is cool with me.... If you can get one young like that, then that's freaking great.... Hell yes I would, I would date an 11 year old, a 9 year old..." Keemstar would tweet a clip of this on August 18th, 2019. In a stream entitled "The War Has Been Won :)," streamed across August 18th and 19th, he compared himself to Jesus being ridiculed as the chat called him out for his comments where he continued to argue that he is in the right. Jared argued by comparing himself to Jesus, stating that "Jesus broke the law, too." When asked about the development of children he stated "They might not be 100% developed, but they're developed enough." During this stream, he claimed to be 33 years old. 'Relationships' *Jared has an off-screen relationship with his Yo-Yo James Ralph. He met Ralph on his first Halloween when he went trick or treating and mistook a yo-yo someone gave him, for candy. Ever since he suspected Ralph of conspiring against him, Ralph has been kept under Lock and key in a safe in Jared's room. *Jared has a possible sexual relationship with the [https://jared-genesis.wikia.com/wiki/Marked_Skeleton?venotify=created Marked Skeleton] hanging in his room, which he presumably uses for witchcraft. *Jared lives in the house of his adoptive parents, but there really is no information at all about them or their relationship with Jared. *Jared responded positively to a youtube comment from a user named Based Knopfler on his video "Eiffel 65 - I'm Blue Dance Routine" asking for the two of them to be wed. It is unknown when the wedding will take place, but the proposal occurred on the 23/08/2018. *Jared has a sister named Linda 'The Conflagration of 2017' Also known as The Accident. The Darkness came. Bad. Not Nice. Losses: *Jared's Left eyebrow 'Channels' List of known channels: Seamore Buns (Jared's oldest known channel) Lord Genesis Brother Jared Jared A. Cuck Jared Genesis (1) Jared Genesis (2) Jared Genesis (3) Alpha Genesis Sega Unlimited (Current) 'Religion' Jared's own religious beliefs are often debated among scholars, certain objects of interest in his bedroom point to witchcraft or black magic of some sort, but nothing is yet confirmed. There exists a cult of Youtubers whose members completely obsess over him and must watch at least one of his videos per month or else they suffer withdrawal symptoms similar to heroine addicts. The cults main leaders include: Youtuber The Word Of Wolf Youtuber Rags Youtuber Fringy Youtuber MauLer Youtuber Dude2o Youtuber HoodieMon In order to get in touch with his own community, Jared created a Discord server on November 5th, 2018. The head moderator of Jared's discord server is believed to be an outreach cultist: Nerdwiz , other moderator being: A destroyer guy. Nerdwiz bears similarities to the rest of the cult but resides on platforms outside of Youtube such as steam and discord. 'The Iguanas' Information is limited on The Iguanas. Theories have arisen to their location, possibly under Jared's bed. However, their existence can neither be confirmed nor denied. They may even be in control of Jared. Jared has spoken at length, ambiguously, about the existence of Iguanas in his past. Some have theorized that The Iguanas are not literal iguanas, but possibly have a deeper symbolic meaning. A meaning may arise if somebody were to rearrange the letters of the word iguana and cross reference the word in another language. It may reveal a significant clue to Jared's captors. The Iguana Code. Recently, the son of one of the beta male scientists in the facility that Jared is being held in has spent the last 7 months de-coding the message by studying his Father's old research papers in his high school history class. These are his findings: ☀When cross referencing the word “Iguana” through many languages on Google Translate—as instructed by the Jared Genesis wiki page—the Maori translation for the word Iguana is “insect”. The Maori are the indigenous people of New Zealand. Possibly the most famous insect of the country is the weta, however this word is not only the name of an insect but also the name of a massive art design studio also found in New Zealand called “Weta Workshop” which famously worked on the Lord of the Rings films. Jared has spoken at length of how he views these films as “boring”. He also spoke of a “friend” who was with him (alluding to the fact that he is not the only prisoner in the facility) and his distaste for what are otherwise widely considered great films could be a message describing the facility he’s being kept in. But that's not all. One of the central characters of the LOTR films that Jared continually brings up is the main character Frodo Baggins. When typing the word “Frodo” into Maori translate it means “frozen”, the film named after the same word was widely considered to be a massive success for disney..... DISNEY.... In a discussion amongst his primary disciples one key figure of the brotherhood of Jared “Mauler” expressed his concerns of disney acquiring the rights to jared and changing the lore in the process. This comment was made during their monthly viewing of Jared videos in order to sustain their life force. When the comment was said we can clearly see not 1 but 2 hot wheels cars in the background however the top one is positioned straight and never faltures but the lower one is torn and not as good as the top one, a clear reference towards the relationship between splinter and shredder in the 2012 nickelodeon tmnt series, where Hamato Yoshi (splinter) constantly outperforms Oroku Saki (shredder) and is held to a higher standard. When typing these names into Maori they mean “Extra Hamath”. Hamath being a city in modern day Syria. Jared is saying “more Syria”. When searching this up in google it comes up with a story of a Japanese man kept in captivity in Syria for 3 years, the article was covered by the washington post, and what place lies in between Syria and Washington? The Atlantic ocean, and what lies between the Atlantic ocean and Japan? GEORGIA OR SAKARTVELO as it’s called in its homeland, And what famous person is from Georgia? Joseph Stalin. Stalin was a destructive, horrible man, and what INSECT from Georgia possesses those same characteristics? Termites. Termites were recently announced as a possible feature in the upcoming minecraft desert update along with ostriches, and what part of the world are ostriches most prevalent in? North Africa, if you take the initials of both words you get N.A which in the NEW ZEALAND curriculum stands for “Not Achieved” showing that his captors have not been able to break his alpha status. But the N.A mark is the 4th lowest mark of the NCEA curriculum and what group of 4 are heavily associated with Jared Genesis? The teenage mutant ninja turtles, and where do they live? In the New York sewage system. That is where Jared is being held. The Iguana Code. 'Gallery' Jared Seamore Buns.PNG|'Seamore Buns' Jared. Photo.jpg|'Wolverine' Jared. Photo (2).jpg|'Bird's Nest' Jared. Photo (1).jpg|Jared A. Cuck. Category:Browse